Damsels, Dragons, and Dragon Slayers
In days gone by, dragons roamed our land – at least people believed they did. And it seems that there were two different dragon varieties: The ones that flew and breathed fire and the ones that lived in or near rivers and could shoot water out of their mouths – enough water to flood a town.
Both types of these ferocious creatures had a reputation for terrorizing towns, munching on men, chomping on children, and wolfing down women. Not to mention lunching on their livestock.
Of course, this was a big problem for our ancestors who lived near the dens and caves inhabited by these monsters. They often had to call for outside help to come in and take care of their “problem”.
Knights and Saints
Oftentimes a young maiden would be offered up as dragon dinner to save the rest of the town. And if, perchance, a medieval knight should happen upon the scene just as the dragon was about to gobble her up, he would be duty bound to do battle with the beast, slay him, and save the damsel in distress.
Or, if there were no available knights, the townsfolk might call on a local priest or saint to get rid of their monster. The problem with this was that those religious folks didn’t like to kill the beast. They would just subdue him (by showing him a cross), tie a little belt around his neck, and lead him back into the town.
Dragons are Done For
No matter how much the saint claimed that the creature had repented and changed his wicked ways, the local yokels would not forgive and forget. They would end up killing the (now docile) dragon themselves.
Whether slain by knights or killed by angry citizens, the dragons were done away with – which may explain why there are none left to trouble us today. At least, that’s what I thought – until I met my own water dragon in a London hotel…
Modern Water Dragon in a London Hotel
It was early morning, and we were preparing for the day ahead. I ventured into the bathroom to take a shower. While standing outside the cubicle in my bathrobe, I opened the glass door to turn on the water. It’s always nice to let the water run a bit and warm up before jumping in.
As I was studying the unfamiliar handles and trying to decide which of the two to turn, I missed one very important detail… The sadistic housekeeper had aimed the spray nozzle directly toward the face of anyone standing outside the shower and turning it on.
Ignorant of this fact, I innocently turned the handle… and was immediately blasted in the face with a forceful spray of cold water. I gasped from the shock of it. Screeching, I tried to cover my face and protect myself as water rushed over me taking my breath away and soaking me, my bathrobe, and the bathroom floor. I slammed the shower door shut!
Then to my relief, I heard him: My fearless knight was coming to answer the cries of his damsel in distress. My shrieks had alerted him that something was amiss.
Are you alright, my lady?
No! I answered.
His quick eyes darted around taking in the situation, I was standing there in my soaking wet robe in the middle of the floor that looked like a goldfish pond.
Look! – I said pointing to the water monster (I mean shower head) still fiercely spraying the glass door – blocking the only entrance into its cave.
My valiant knight didn’t even hesitate. He flung open the door. As the dragon attempted to drown him by spewing gallons of water into his face, he grasped the creature by the neck and twisted it around, slaying the mighty water monster that had tried to kill me.
As I swooned with relief and gratitude, he dried his face, threw some towels in the floor to soak up the puddles, and then he was on his way.
I guess saving damsels in distress and slaying water monsters are all in a day’s work for my brave and gallant knight. It’s just a good thing he wasn’t wearing his shining armor – or it would be rusting right now.
- The Marie Antoinette Diamond Necklace Affair: The Scam that Took Down a Queen – 23 May 2026
- Gouda Cheese Market: 700 Years of History – 21 May 2026
- Curious History Review: May 2026 – 7 May 2026
COMMENT HERE: Can't wait to hear what you think… (email not required)